Back To Zero
by JackiLeigh
Summary: Sequel to Holding on to Nothing.
1. Chapter 1

BACK TO ZERO

**AN: This is a sequel to Holding On To Nothing. I was asked by The Nagging Cube if I would write one. And after a little thought I came up with this. **

**Disclaimer: I have no knowledge of how long jail sentences should be.**

**Enjoy!**

The last 4 months had been rough, Tim realized. He looked around the open air cafe that had been his favorite during his time at NCIS. At least it hadn't changed much. He shook his head. He hadn't expected his adjustment back to the world to be so difficult. He had gone to live in with his sister, right after release, but it was strange. He knew, though, he would not be able to stay long. Her sister's kids were now teenagers. They wanted their own rooms and their own space. It was hard having someone else in an already small, cramped house.

He was shocked when he looked over and saw the man two tables away. Even after 15 years, there was no mistaking who he was. He hair was had gotten gray. It made him look distinguished. His own gray hair was premature, and it just make him look old. But what had caused him to recognize the man was the voice. He remembered that voice very well. He picked up his coffee and went over to the man.

"Mind of I sit?" Tim asked.

Tony looked up at his visitor. He didn't recognize Tim for a moment. The gray hair had thrown him off. Tony nodded. "Fifteen years, McGee."

"Fifteen long years, " Tim sat. "...I had a long time to...think about things. A really long time." Tim replied.

"What did you come up with?" Tony asked.

Tim sighed. "I was an arrogant jackass who should have listened to his superiors."

"At least you finally got it." Tony paused. "So, how long have you been...out?"

"Four months..." Tim replied. "...staying with my little sister."

Tony nodded.

"I...are you still at NCIS?"

Tony nodded again.

"And everybody...Abby, Ducky...Gibbs...?"

"Abby's head of the lab now. She has 4 forensic scientists working for her. She's still working in the lab...couldn't give that up." Tony paused and sighed. "We lost Ducky about 4 years ago. He lived in a nursing home the last few years of his life. He was in his nineties. Gibbs is living it up in South Beach on his boat. He retired about 5 years ago. He sails up to Virginia every few months and visits. Jimmy took over as M.E." Tony shook his head. "It took a long time to get used to calling him Dr. Palmer."

Tim shook his head. Things had changed so much. He was happy for them. But he was sad he would never see Ducky again.

Tim looked at Tony. "You never really told me what you're doing now."

Just as Tony was about to speak a young agent came over to Tony. She extended the phone to him. "Director DiNozzo...a call for you..."

**Added another part, per request, concerning Ziva**.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

**AN: This one-shot was written in response to a request for a story about Ziva. **

The director looked at the request which had been placed on his desk. He had every excuse to deny it. But for some reason, he was not sure he should. He had picked up the piece of paper and had put it down at least a dozen times. He shook his head, frustrated at his own indecision, when he heard a knock on the door. He was very glad to see a friendly face. He really, really needed one right now.

"Is this business or personal?"

"It depends." His visitor said, studying him closely. "Do you…What's going on?"

Tony shook his head as Abby took a seat in front of his desk. He passed the piece of paper over to her to read.

"It's okay for me to read this?" Abby asked. "This is not some super-secret director stuff is it?"

Tony shook his head and smiled.

Abby read the page and headed it back across the desk. "What does she want? What could she possibly want?"

Tony shook his head and they both sat in silence for a few moments, each trying to figure what it could mean.

"So, do you even know where she is, what's going on?" Abby asked.

Tony shook his head. He had intentionally not wanted to find out anything. He just knew she had been sentenced to a federal prison for a term of 50 years. He, hoped, with any luck, that she would die in prison, or if she didn't, he would be dead long before she got out.

"I never wanted to know, Abby." Tony shook his head again.

"Maybe she wants to apologize."

"Maybe she wants to try again." Tony stated.

"Maybe she wants to congratulate you on your promotion."

"Maybe she wants to take me out." Tony reiterated.

"Maybe she wants to see that you're okay." Abby countered.

"Maybe she wants to sharpen her assassin skills and…."

"What are you going to do?" Abby asked, interrupting.

Tony could not believe Ziva had had the nerve to request to see him. In that moment he made up his mind. He checked the box on the form that said 'Request Denied.' He then signed the form and returned it to its envelope.

THE END


	3. Chapter 3

Part3

Leroy Jethro Gibbs' life had changed a lot in 15 years. He did one thing he thought he would never do. He retired. He had always imagined he would die 'in the line of duty.' However, a few years into his retirement, he is glad he lived long enough to enjoy it. Florida was great. He loved the sun, and while, he did miss the job. He missed the people more, well, some people.

He, even after all these years, was still amazed by Timothy McGee's and Ziva David's actions. He had, in all his years of duty, never seen anyone so thoroughly and completely betrayed as Tony had been.

He and Tony had gone on. They had found two new team members. They had solved cases. They had done their jobs. But it wasn't the same. Tony didn't joke with the new people, opting instead, to be completely professional. Gibbs never asked Tony about his 'new attitude.' He didn't really feel he had to. Tony had been hurt, deeply hurt, by two people he had cared for and trusted. Gibbs just figured he did not want to go down that road again.

This time, when Tony was offered his own team, about 4 years after 'the incident,' he accepted. Tony was 'finally' ready. He excelled in the position and a few years later, when Vance was ready to retire; Tony's name got 'put' into the running.

Gibbs had stuck around for a couple years after Tony became Team Leader, mostly to see DiNozzo in action. He was not disappointed. Tony made him proud. And when Vance announced his retirement, it had been Gibbs who had thrown Tony's name in the ring. It had not been a joke, but still Gibb had been surprised when Tony had been named. Not because there was any question of Tony's abilities, but because he was up against some really strong candidates.

But still every time Gibbs thought about his title, Director DiNozzo, he had to smile. He still remembered, as clear as day, the smart-ass cocky Baltimore cop/kid, who he had watched and helped grow into a competent, confident agent. He shook his head and smiled as he parked his boat and dropped anchor in his slip in the Chesapeake Bay.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

Gibbs stepped out of the taxi cab in front of the large two-story house. He stared in amazement, as always, at the house. Not that it was a grand place, it was not, but it was just that it belonged to Tony DiNozzo. Gibbs still had a hard time seeing him in any place else besides his tiny one-bedroom apartment.

Tony opened the door for his visitor, even before he knocked. Gibbs, it seemed, had passed along his 'gut' to Tony. Gibbs stepped in the door and he and Tony embraced.

"You're planning on staying awhile, I see." Tony said, eyeing Gibbs' bag.

"If it's okay." Gibbs said.

"Absolutely," Tony responded. "…just pick a room."

Gibbs picked up the bag he had dropped on the floor before he and Tony embraced. He then headed up the stairs. He had no preference; he had stayed in them all over the years Tony had owned the house. He just picked a room and put his bag down on the bed. He then returned downstairs.

Gibbs found Tony in the living room. He had poured Gibbs a glass of bourbon and had it waiting when Gibbs came back down.

"You actually drink this stuff?" Gibbs asked, knowing Tony didn't particularly care for bourbon.

"Nope…" Tony said, shipping his drink. "…it's just for you."

"You knew I was coming?"

Tony nodded.

Gibbs smiled.

"What?"

"Director DiNozzo."

"I never have thanked you properly for that." Tony replied.

"I knew you had the ability, but still, I was kind of surprised when Vance and SecNav picked you. There were so many who were just as qualified."

Tony sipped his drink and then nodded. "I think Vance was just doing it to be a smart-ass. He was leaving, he didn't care. He thought I wouldn't last 6 months…."

Gibbs nodded. "…and here, almost a decade later."

Tony smiled. "He's eating his words now. But…even with The Frog…and Barrett, the Port-to-Port thing."

"You got fooled too, Tony." Gibbs stated, as he sipped his bourbon. "We all did."

"But I was…." Tony said, shaking his head.

"You trust your superiors, Tony. That's all you can do." Gibbs said. "You expect that they know what they are doing."

"But Jenny…."

"Jenny was a special case, Tony." Gibbs stated. "We ALL found out, too late, what she was up to."

"Special…yeah…nice word for her." Tony replied.

"She changed, Tony." Gibbs stated. "She was not the same woman I remembered. I don't know what happened." Gibbs shook his head. "She…she lost her father. She thought…I don't know what she thought."

"I…I saw McGee…" Tony started.

"Really?" Gibbs asked. "Where? When?"

"Yesterday, actually. He…I was sitting in the café…."

Gibbs nodded. He was very familiar with that café. He had kept the place in business, with his coffee purchases alone, during his time at NCIS.

"He walked up to me and asked to sit." Tony shook his head. "I didn't' recognize him for just a moment. He's…he's gotten gray. He looks old. He's staying with his little sister."

Gibbs nodded. "Fifteen years is a long time."

Tony nodded. "He finally gets it. He finally understands." Tony stated. "He did ask about you guys. I told him about you and Abby…and Ducky."

They sat in silence for a moment after they made a toast to Ducky.

"I could really use a story right now." Tony said.

"I wish I would have taken some time to listen." Gibbs said. "I know he had some great ones."

Tony looked at Gibbs. "You never told me hold long you were staying."

"It depends."

"On what?" Tony asked.

"How long will you have me?"

TBC (on to Dr. Palmer)


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

**AN: I sort of had my readers thinking a certain way on Tony's personal life in this story. So, I would like to thank 'tansysam' for giving me an idea to feed my evil plot bunny. I am kinda, sorta, not really, throwing you guys a curve ball. (Hint: The name used is NOT a coincidence.)**

Tony stuck his finger into the bowl and tried to sneak another taste of icing.

"Mama, Daddy's doing it again." Tony's green-eyed, brown-haired 5-year-old daughter said.

"Caitlyn Kelly DiNozzo, do not tattle on your father!" Tony said as he smiled at his daughter. He licked the icing off his finger. Then he scooped her into his arms.

"You're in trouble …" Tony's 7-year-old son, Donald Jethro DiNozzo, said. "…Daddy used all three of your names." He had been sitting at the table, patiently waiting his turn at the icing bowl. He looked like his mother with blonde hair and blue eyes.

"You all need to get out of my kitchen." Wendy said to her husband and kids as she ushered them out of the room.

"But Mom!" They all whined.

"Out!" Wendy said. "Quit teaching your children such things." Wendy said to Tony.

Tony opened his mouth to speak.

"If you want everything ready in time for the dinner party you'll go."

Tony obediently took the kids into the living room. He sat Katie on the floor. "Go check on Grandpa." Tony said then watched his children run up the stairs. He then returned to the kitchen.

Tony walked up behind his wife and slipped his arms around her waist. "Thanks for doing this on such short notice. I…Gibbs was in…I just wanted to take advantage of us all being together."

Wendy turned around in her husband's arms. "I love your friends, you know that. I'm glad Jethro stays with us when he comes into town. I love Jimmy and Brianna, and their kids. Abby's a hoot. I do wonder about her taste in men, though, sometimes."

Tony looked her in the eye. "She fell in love with me." Tony said, jokingly.

"Who wouldn't?" Wendy said, taking Tony's chin in her hand and gently shaking it.

"You never told me how your trip went. I missed you and the kids." Tony said, pulling her closer to him. He kissed her cheek. "It was nice Gibbs showed up when he did. But…it just wasn't the same."

"Mom and Dad were great. You know…ohhs and ahhs over the kids, same old, same old." Wendy said as she laid her head on Tony's chest.

"Mom! Dad! Grandpa's ready!" Katie and Donnie said as they bounded back down the stairs.

"Now you two, go get ready…" Wendy said. "….what I laid out on the bed for you." Knowing her children well enough to know they would get into their closets and choose something not nearly as nice.

"But…." Katie said, scrapping the toe of her shoe over the carpet and using her best sad face.

"No, but." Tony said. "We dress up and behave when we go to dinner. We act like grownups."

"But I not a growup. I just this many." Katie said, holding up her hand splaying her five fingers.

Tony once again scooped his daughter into his arms and carried her upstairs. Donnie was already upstairs in his room, getting dressed.

Tony deposited her in her room. "You wear what Mom laid out for you." Tony said as he left. "I need to go check on Grandpa."

Gibbs opened the door just as Tony was getting ready to knock. Gibbs took one look at Tony and could read the worry.

"You're doing the right thing, Tony."

Tony shook his head. "I don't know."

"Are you ready for this?" Gibbs said. "That's the real question."

"Are you?" Tony asked, really wanting to know the answer.

"Yeah." Gibbs answered honestly. "It's been years. He's changed. We've all changed."

Tony just stood and stared at Gibbs for a moment.

"I talked to him for about an hour yesterday. He called, repeatedly. I didn't recognize the number and I didn't answer the first few rings, but he kept calling. He asked for you. You were out. I was just going to take a message…. He said it had been a couple of weeks since he had seen you. And he mentioned he had talked to you over the phone a few times. He said he had been thinking about things…. Why didn't you tell me?" Gibbs asked.

Tony shrugged. "There was nothing to tell." Tony paused. "In all honestly I never expected to hear from him. He, I don't even know where he got my phone number. I…I just never expected anything to come of it."

"But…."

"But I talked to Abby and Jimmy and they said it was time. Especially after I told them he had asked about them both." Tony stated.

"What else….?" Gibbs asked.

"I took his job." Tony paused. "He wanted this job…so badly. I…What if he just resents me?"

"You didn't take his job, Tony." Gibbs said. "Tim messed up. He lost the job because of his actions."

Tony nodded, though he didn't seem quite convinced.

Katie and Donnie appeared in the hallway. They came running up to Tony and Gibbs.

"I look pretty, Daddy?" Katie asked.

"Gorgeous, Ms. DiNozzo." Tony said, smiling down at his daughter. "You look very handsome, too, Mr. DiNozzo."

"Why thank you, sir?" Donnie said in his best British accent as he bowed deeply at the waist.

"Go downstairs, both of you. Stay out of Mom's way and don't get dirty."

Both Donnie and Katie nodded as they headed downstairs.

Gibbs and Tony started down.

"Are you ready for this?" Gibbs asked.

"No." Tony said, honestly, as they entered the living room.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

Jimmy and Breena were the first to arrive their 6 year-old twins, Donald James and Abigail Marie, and in tow. Tony sent all the kids downstairs to the playroom to play until dinner was ready.

Abby arrived next with her latest love interest. He was tall, handsome and a detective on the Baltimore PD. He had practically begged Abby to come when he found out whose house she was coming to. Tony was still a legend Baltimore.

Tim arrived last. He hesitated on the front stoop until Tony opened the door wide and ushered him in.

"Tony, I…." Tim started.

Tony nodded. "Come in, Tim."

"Hi, Timmy." Abby said sheepishly. She then came up to Tim and hugged him.

Tim almost didn't recognize her. She had streaks of gray in her hair and she had toned down her gothic attire to just the wearing of the color black.

"I'm glad you came." Abby said as she stepped back.

"You're…you've changed." Tim stated.

"So have you." Abby replied, taking in his gray hair.

Tim turned his attention to Gibbs.

"Gibbs…Sir…." Tim was really surprised. Gibbs didn't look like he had aged much at all. He actually looked rested and tanned. It reminded him of how Gibbs looked when he first returned from Mexico. "You haven't changed a bit."

"Florida and retirement agree with me." Gibbs said, smiling.

Tim nodded. He then turned his attention to Tony as four small children ran up behind. Tony bent down to pick up a little blond-haired boy who was without-a-doubt his.

"Daddy, I'm hungry." Donnie said, patting his stomach.

Tony put his ear to Donnie's stomach and nodded. "Yeah, I guess so." He looked at Tim for a second before he addressed Donnie again. "You can go and sit down. But I want to introduce you to somebody first, okay?"

Donnie nodded. He was looking at Tim. Donnie knew he had never seen him before.

"This is Timothy McGee, Donnie. Tim, this is my son Donald Jethro DiNozzo. He's 7." Tony stated. "And this one," Tony said, indicating the little girl almost hiding behind her father's leg. "…this is Caitlyn Kelly DiNozzo, Katie. She's 5. Katie, this Timothy McGee."

Both kids nodded and gave a sheepish little wave before they headed off to the dining room.

"There is no doubt they belong to you…." Tim started. He was surprised. He could never picture Tony married. Now, with children…he just shook his head. Tim looked at the other two children who had followed Katie and Donnie.

"Those are mine, they're twins, DJ and Abby. They're 6." Palmer spoke up. "And you remember Breena. Well, I'm sure you remember me talking about her anyway." Brianna stuck out her hand and she and Tim shook. "We've been married 14 years."

Tim nodded. He looked at Jimmy for a long moment. He really did look like a doctor. And he looked very…content, happy with his life. So did Tony.

"Kids? Wife? Tony, it's hard…hard to believe."

Tony smiled.

Wendy came into the living room. She then walked over to Tony and put her arm around his waist. "So, this is Timothy McGee." Wendy said by way of introduction. She stuck her hand out and she and Tim shook hands. "Nice to meet you, I'm Wendy."

Tim shook his head. "I never thought Tony would get married. So…you're…. How long…?"

Tony nodded and answered. "We've been married for 10 years. The kids were…a surprise. Both times…a pleasant surprise, but still a surprise." By this time, they had all moved into the dining room and selected their seats, with Tony at the head of the table. "We met in Baltimore, years before NCIS and then, when we happened to meet again." Tony paused. "We were a few years older and a lot wiser."

Wendy reached over to Tony and took his hand. "We gave each other a second chance."

Tony nodded and raised his glass and they all followed suit. He then toasted. "Here's to second chances."

THE END

**END NOTES: I know my chronology may be a little off here, forgive me. I made Wendy a few years Tony's junior. That is why his children are so 'young.' I had a lot of strong emotions and opinions thrown at me over this story. I know many of you think I don't like Ziva and Tim. That's not true. To me writing a story is like an actor playing a part. He may play a cop in one movie and then a serial killer in another. I also like being able to be that versatile. If I portray a character a certain way, that is all it is. A portrayal built around an incident, for a story, nothing more, nothing less.**

**I love all our beloved characters. But as I have said, they all have flaws, they're human, even my beloved Tony. I love him dearly, but he can be an ass sometimes, he's human. He's not perfect and it's those imperfections that make him fascinating. **

**Thanks you all, so much, for your reviews and your support. Jackie.**


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

Director DiNozzo sat at his desk, studying the letter he held in his hand. He had read it over at least a dozen times.

Tony,

So many years have passed. I write, not to ask for forgiveness, I have no right. I write to tell you the reasons for my actions. I do not expect you to understand why I did what I did. I relive, every day, the moment I stood over your unconscious body, knife in my hand, ready to end you life. I cannot believe that person was me. I do not understand how I got to that point. I do not understand what made me decide that that action would solve my problem. In fact, that action would have ended the life of someone whom I considered a dear loyal friend.

I can only tell you that I desperately did not want to return to Israel. I have always had the suspicion that my father considered me expendable. I need only to recall Ari's demise to remember that. A man who can kill his own child…. Well, I need not go any further. I did not want to 'become a liability.' I was sure that was what would have happened. I knew I would have had to return to Israel to work for my father had Gibbs discovered what Tim and I did. I was not a United States citizen yet, and I felt it would have been far too easy for Gibbs, Vance, and SecNav to decide I was no longer needed. My position would be terminated and I would have no choice but to return home.

Again, I am not looking for forgiveness. I am not looking for absolution. I just want to tell someone, who once cared a great deal for me, that his friendship was much appreciated.

Ziva David

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

Tony stared at the letter for a long time, contemplating its contents. He then picked up his pen and began to write.

Ziva,

Believe it or not, I have forgiven you. I could not allow actions made against me, regardless of their motives, to rule my life. I was very determined to recover completely from my injuries and I did. I cannot allow the anger I had for you to cloud my judgment. I could not allow myself to treat the next agent I worked with with any sort of mistrust because I was betrayed by a former partner. I have to move on, and I have. I have found happiness in my life and I have come to realize a few things. I don't hate you. I realize that the person I knew would not kill me. The person in the hospital room was someone pushed beyond her limits. And while I truly cannot understand the actions you took. I can understand the situation. I too have been pushed into corners, trapped with no way out. And while I did not turn on a friend, I came to the realization someone's life would have to end for me to come out alive. I had to make the choice.

But I gave you a chance, Ziva. I allowed you and Tim the opportunity to redeem yourselves. You could have just done as I asked. You could have gone a step further and turned yourself in. But you did neither.

As I said, I have forgiven you. But as forgiveness usually works, it was not for you. I didn't want and did not deserve to live under the burden of that weight. I deserve to live my life as I chose. We all chose the paths we will follow.

I can't give you what you need, Ziva. You have to forgive yourself first.

Tony DiNozzo

THE END

**END NOTES: I think that this is truly, finally, the last chapter. I was debating writing a chapter on Ziva, but I decided the story really wouldn't be complete without it. This has been quite a journey, I appreciate all the comments, complaints and suggestions. A special thanks to all those who kept my evil plot bunnies alive and well-nourished. ENJOY! Jackie**


End file.
